Annual Car Registration - the quick and the dirty

OK, it was not quick (started in November, finished today) but it was dirty. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Every year those of us who live in Quito have to have their car certified for emissions and safety, and then renew the registration. We started the process (we thought) early enough to avoid the rush. But, how wrong a person can be.

The certification part went OK, but when Graham went to pay for the renewal of the registration the problems began. "It is already paid" said the lady at the bank. "No, I haven't paid it" replied Graham. "But it is paid."

Problem - to renew your registration you need an original receipt from the bank showing you have paid. With the registration already paid, Graham could not get an original receipt. What to do?

After trying to get a second copy of the original - that someone else paid by error, no way of telling who - Graham finally went to the top. He went to the Police Department responsible for vehicle registration and spoke with someone there. They told him he needed to go the Tax Office (SRI) to clean up the account. "Happens all the time" they assured him.

So, off to the SRI. After waiting an hour or so, a lady listened to Graham's story and said "Yup, happens all the time." She pecked away at her computer and then looked up and assured Graham it was fixed. Now, he had to go back to the bank.

At the bank there was NO lineup (whoooHOOO) so Graham gave the car registration to the teller, and guess what - he was able to pay it! Now we have the original receipt. It has taken half a day to get to this point.

Next, Graham heads back to the Police Department to do the paperwork to get the new registration. Oops, don't get too excited Graham. First, the sign says you have to wait 48 hours after payment before getting the new registration. Second, you need photocopies of the old registration, passport, etc. Graham didn't have this stuff. It is Friday. Gotta wait until Tuesday.

Today, Tuesday - here is where the dirty part happened.

Graham is standing in line. They are 20 minutes late opening the gate at the Police Department. It is raining slightly. Suddenly, a big drop of rain runs down Graham's back. Yuck. Oops, it’s not rain. A pigeon has just unloaded it’s morning constitutional on him, hitting Graham on the head and running down his shoulder.

He had a Kleenex with him, so the guy in line behind him tried to wipe Graham's shoulder and back while Graham wiped off his head. He stinks – big time. Those things let go with a huge quantity, Grade "A"!

But, he wasn’t about to quit. So he made everyone around him suffer with the smell. Finally the gates open and he got in line and was given ticket number 13. Yeah, think about it. Lucky 13.

But guess what – numbers 1-8 didn’t show, so inside of 5 minutes they are calling #9. Then two more windows open. Numbers 10-12 are called immediately. Then #13. So Graham is at the window, in all his poopy, smelly glory. The girl smiles at him and asks “Where is your Cedula?” (Ecuadorian ID card). Graham explains he doesn’t have one, just a censo (ID card for foreigners). She looks puzzled and leaves her computer. Uh oh he thinks.

She returns seconds later with a piece of carbon paper (needs it to print the form he has to sign) and finishes the paperwork. Graham asked her “Do you want to see the censo?” “No” she replied. "There’s a photocopy here." So he has no idea why she was originally puzzled.

And then, in the next instant, Graham's wildest dream came true – he held a brand-new, valid-for-one-year vehicle registration in his hand!

Registration in hand, poop on head, he headed out to grab a taxi and head home. But now, it is morning rush hour. So the cab slowly crawls back to the apartment, the taxi driver constantly looking back at Graham with a funny expression. The cab stunk. Finally, once close to home, Graham paid him and jumped out. He could walk the rest of the way faster than could be driven in the traffic, and could no longer stand himself.

So, it’s done. Now Graham is clean. Clothes are in the washing machine. End of story. Not quick, but definitely dirty.